My mother --the good and the bad things

My mother had good points and bad points, things that were important to consider as I learn to shape myself even now at this late stage of my life. In addition a critical point was to look at her objectively regarding her over health and additions.

So, to start with the good points. My mother was sometimes really funny. She had a very quirky bizarre sense of humor that mostly involved acting goofy. I'm proud to say that I 've saved this part of my mother, because humor is important as regards learning to cope with bad times. In the Army they call it 'resilience.' I call it a survival tactic. So, the the good thing about acting goofy is that it embarrasses the kids, and that is really funny for me. Of course I don't' do it around witnesses. Its more fun to be goofy in private or when people aren't looking --except the kids of course.

The other thing my mother could do well,mw as capture center stage. She was very dynamic and people were drawn to her. In her own way she was attractive and I guess a good word to describe her would vivacious. I would say that I came into my own womanhood, and was secure in my attractiveness, that I could alps be called vivacious.
the problem with my mother is that she only felt good about herself when she was around people when she was drnking. So the good times certainly turned into horror shows. OTOH< when we were home and she was feeling goofy with me and my sister, we could really have some funny times . But those were rare, and I never saw her so that with a boyfriend or her husband.

What a shame.

As for the bad things, I already alluded to that because she did drink alot . And often it resulted in fights with even the police. So my other goal in life was to not get rowdy stupid drunk. In fact to this day, i simply don't care to drink. Why waste the calories?

Another bad thing was that the police would show up to break up fights that I now realize were essentially domestic violence: pushing, shoving, strangling, threatening with knives. My mother and my step fathers , Joe and Steve. i do not ever recall my father being violent even when i lived with him and my step mother. I saw him get angry once and walk away. That is it,. For an Italian it was odd, cause I do not think I even ever heard him raise his voice. Now that I think about it, I've probably modeled my professional self on my father. He was a man that was very much admired. Whereas my mother was not. She was an embarrassment.